Monday, December 20, 2010

6 - The Fear that makes you live to Fear


06 – September – 2009
2: 04: 00 a.m.

6, Willie Street, Hornsby, New south Wales; this concrete piece of elegance and darkness is going to be the talk of the city in a few hours. The entire lane is filled with profuse darkness and solitude. Counting the last days for the spring to bid bye, the trees stand erect and tall on either sides like a regiment of soldiers displaying their respect to a Military General walking through. The sight through the path sets off to a journey witnessing the various classes of cars parked in bays decorating the way like the auto expo show. The larger shadows that fall from either sides of the lane reflected from the street lamps display the intensity of sodium vapor, leaving a cramped space to walk through right in the middle of the road, where the thin line of light leads the path towards the house. The footsteps making the mildest of the sounds and displacing the sparsely found water that reflects the heel texture of the boot.

The sight of the door resembles the gateway to the mysterious grave filled with quintessence of the wholeness that blew off some myths just a few hours ago. The creaky sound that follows when the door is opening gives a head shot to expect something unusual. The wooden floor inside creates the percussion noises for every footstep as the whole house is dead calm. The narrow pathway leading from the door with plain white painted walls on either sides, holding no enough room to let two normal adults walk beside each other. The shoe rack, placed just a few inches away from the door, says “Either you or the footwear - beyond this point”, precisely allowing none to enter past the point with their shoes or stilettos. The single stair right after the shoe rack leads to a rise in the level of the basement of the house. The dim light glowing hesitantly right at the top of the ceiling near the entrance to the lounge, has its focus on the leather bag with tiny koala key chains hooked on to the zipper of the bag.

Sid tries to take that bag from the floor, when he pulls it, he senses a resistance from the other side and on pulling with some more force he gets the nightmare of his life. The name, ‘Sid’ has been scratched out by reddish random crossing lines. As Sid looks at the bag little more closely, an adrenaline rush of thoughts runs in his mind like the galloping race horses. The way the bag used to swing in the arms of Shreya, the way she used to hug that bag close to her chest like a koala bear hugging its offspring reminds him the cute things despite of the brutality that lies right in front of his sight. The name ‘Sid’ was tattooed on Shreya’s hand as she wanted Sid to know how much he meant to her. The name has been brutally punctured and crossed leaving just patches of blood with spaces in between resembling dotted arcs. Sid tries to believe that Shreya is still all alive in his hands, but his belief doesn’t last long for even a minute as he senses that the pulse rate of Shreya is no longer present. Not even a week, since Shreya accepted Sid’s proposal, she is no more and her head is laid down on his lap with just her pretty face that glows the brightest even in the dim light.


06-September-09
2: 10: 00 A.M
Meadow Park, Normanhurst, NSW

Bharath is sitting on the broken bench in the corner of the beautiful park, which dazzles in the moonlight like the fairy tales dreamland, with his heel, resting on the bench, bent until his chin rests on his knee and his other foot firmly stamping the lush grasses. He slowly lifts his right palm to face him and he could see nothing but the blood stains in his hand. He slowly brings his palm near his nostrils and smells the aroma of the blood, and as he sniffs it, he stands up and screams aloud in the open space with both his hands up in the air with fists closed. As he was screaming so loud, a big fist lands on his face real hard. Bharath is not able to handle the blow on his face and falls on the ground with his right cheek kissing the grasses. As the fist moves backwards, it reveals the face of Vinay, who stands tall and enraged with eye brows squeezed and nostrils exhaling the hot breath like an angry bull. Vinay vents out his anger even more through his words at Bharath, “What the hell have you done? I haven’t seen such a betrayal ever! Is this how much you value friendship?” Bharath is just smiling with blood oozing out of
the right side of his lips and gives no verbal response to Vinay. Vinay puts his hand on his forehead and runs it through his sweaty hair and looks around to check for the presence of anyone else other than the two of them.

Bharath stumbles and gets up somehow to stand in front of Vinay and slowly says, “Vinay, the only lesson that I have learnt in life is that love is never true. When a girl says that she loves you, it indirectly means she has opened the gates of grave for you and awaits your arrival.” Vinay gets even more furious on hearing this and he yells back at Bharath, “Come on Bharath, give it a break. Just because you had a sad and pitiable love experience, it’s your myth that all the girls are bitches and every love is an illusion. Your dumb myth today has taken the life of the one who lost her life for the one whom she loved.” As Vinay keeps talking, Bharath slowly walks to the nearby fountain that is splashing water and washes his blood stained hands and gathers some water in his hands to gargle and wash his mouth as well. After washing, he looks at Vinay and says, “The life that has been taken is not going to come back. If you believe in Karma then believe in what I say. Your life is counting its last hours.” Hearing this Vinay puts a foot back with a suspicious look at Bharath, and he says, “Bharath, you have gone mad. I am saying, you
have literally gone insane you bloody impostor.” Bharath laughs and winks at Vinay and runs towards him till his head hits Vinay’s tummy so hard to pin him down.


06-September-09
2:16:00 A.M.
N80, Night Ride Bus, City Central – to – Hornsby

Anjali, one among the 5 passengers in the early morning, sitting in the last row of the Night Ride bus, looks at all the other passengers with an intimidated look. As she confirms that no passenger is in the least of their interests to bother about her, she quickly opens her bag and tries to look for her mobile phone. As she shuffles her hands around inside her hand bag, she accidentally happens to pop her lip stick out of her handbag and it rolls down towards the front. She manages to take her i-phone out, and she puts her index finger on the screen and slides to unlock the phone in the hurry and gets pissed at the mobile screen. Finally she unlocks it, and presses the number 6 to speed dial Pooja’s number. As she puts her phone near her ear, she listens to a voice that says, “The Optus customer you have called is currently busy. Please try again or call sometime later. Thank you.” Anjali has no patience to call after sometime and she keeps redialing Pooja’s number and on the sixth attempt, Pooja answers the call. As soon as Pooja lifts the call she screams, “Anjaliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, everything is fucked up. I still pray god that nothing that I have heard should be true.” Anjali senses the anxiety and the distress in Pooja’s voice but manages to say in a weepy voice, “Yes Anjali, it is true. Shreya is no more. I too got the text from Vinay and called him back to confirm it.” Pooja screams loud, “Life is so fucking bad. It is so betraying to hear. How could he ever do this?” While Pooja is screaming and yelling in anger on the other side, Anjali, who could not stop crying, tries to pause Pooja for a minute saying, “Pooja, hold on for a sec, Bharath’s on the other line.” When Anjali says that, Pooja gets infuriated and says, “Don’t ever answer the call from that son of a bitch. That crook does not deserve to talk to any of us anymore.” Anjali on the other side tries to cool down Pooja by saying, “Pooja, I said hold on, just hold on for a minute.”As Anjali voices it out a bit louder, the bus driver stares into the mirror to look at Anjali with a suspicious pair of eyes.

Anjali, answers the call from Bharath and slowly says, “Hello Bharath”. Silence prevails from the side of Bharath for a couple of seconds and then is followed by a loud laughter blended with a crying voice from deep underneath. Bharath slowly says, “Pooja, I never thought things would happen so soon. Is death so spontaneous?” Anjali could sense the murder in the voice of Bharath, who still is stuck to his myths and estranged nature. Bharath again says, “Anjali, if you are still the same old girl who believes in truth, just go home within an hour. Death is chasing you faster than your heart beats. Good night if you are able to see the sun this morning.” The words of Bharath intimidate Anjali to the core, and her forehead is soaked in sweat, with sweat droplets rolling down to her eye brows. As she tries to get off the bus, she hears a drunk voice, “Hey girl, Is this your lip stick?” and she turns back to see the owner of the voice. The mysterious person shows a small card on which something’s written that Anjali could only manage to read with great difficulty. She gets the shock of her life and she grabs the lipstick and gets off at the Strathfield Albert Rd bus stand, and starts running towards the plaza. She suddenly realizes that Pooja is still on the call and she screams, “Pooja, he is here, right here. I saw him. Flee out of your house at the soonest. See you at Epping Train Station in 30 minutes.” Saying this to Pooja, she realizes the call has been disconnected and she knows nothing about when it got disconnected. She tries calling back Pooja, and she can hear the IVR system saying, “Sorry. You have insufficient balance to make a call. Please rechar………” Anjali, hangs up the call in frustration and bangs her mobile on to her forehead and runs to the Telstra phone booth outside the plaza entrance and inserts a 50 cent and dials Pooja’s number which is switched off by now. Anjali stands deserted not knowing whether she will ever meet Pooja again.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

My lovely moon :)



I love the way you admire the moon though you see it every day,

You look at me and lose yourself though you are with me every moment,

Wish I had eyes and mind like you that sees and loves every beauty around,

All of a sudden, when I talk like this, so abrupt and weird it might sound,


All the love that I have is just hidden or expressed in a weird way,

When I gather up all the love to be shown, I feel I don’t need to say,

When I think am I this dumb, you always convince me that I am nice,

The love that you plough out of me is the one that’s flooded in my eyes,


How can a girl be so quenched with the droughty love that she can get,

Nothing I have gone better in showing my love the right way since we met,

Still we are a loving couple to the eyes of the world for some reason,

Our love and rapport is like the flooding rain in the summer season,


The day since I have met you, there has been a million emotions running in me,

The day since I held your hand, I never felt like moving my fingers away from your wrist,


The day since I have spoken to you, I never felt like muting my voice even while sleeping,

The day since I have heard you speaking, I wanted the whole world to go silent till you finish,


The day since we hugged each other, I wished I remain a statue forever as hugging you,

The day since I looked into your eyes, I felt like if not for these eyes, I can go blind,

The day since I felt your love, I wished I do not need to see anymore love as this is enough for all my lives…


I love you da :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The IPL 3 clash - Super Kings versus the chargers


Its gonna be such a treat to watch this match for quite a few reasons.
Chennai Super Kings are back with a roar though there are some pitfalls in some international players
who are unable to make it to the starting matches of CSK due to a bottleneck stint of national duty.
The mongoose is burning the news articles all over and our own Haydos being its brand ambassador is
expected to put up some fireworks on the field.The skipper Dhoni is right on track with his natural same old
style of pinch hitting and Raina being the warrior in the previous two seasons. CSK though don't possess such
a fiery bowling attack, as always, it is gonna rely highly upon its cohesively beefed up batting line up
by putting a mammoth score on the board and rattling the opponents with a intimidating chase. Deccan chargers
who are expecting to bounce back this match after their loss against Knight riders, will be looking on to change
some strategy but their helpless situation of having no option with their overseas players, they really can't
do any better shuffle around. Gilly, with his aggressive form will be a man to watch out nevertheless the domestic
bowlers of CSK are no less if they are gonna hit the spots right from the start that they are capable of.

CSK - Watch out for - Haydos, Dhoni, Raina, Tyagi

Chargers - Gilly, Symonds, Vaas

CSK pitfalls - Bowling attack

Deccan pitfalls - Out of form batsmen

CSK Edge - Dhoni's captaincy, Haydos power packed batting

Deccan Edge - Vaas' bowling dominance, Gilly's fiery start

Watch out for more action.... post match....

- B :)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

To my Valentine :-)


A sweet journey of a loveable couple :)

July 2009

I ran and flew all the way to reach the place,
Wandering pathless before seeing your pretty face,
All that I had to talk at that time went with the air,
My heart immediately said that she will be my best pair,

The love that I treasured inside my heart but kept it hidden,
Ran mad in love & suffered the sweet of pain being love bitten,
The day came when I again got to meet you at the cocktail,
Unable to reach you with my hands stretched took me all pale,

When I was all about to unleash my love for you,
I was tensed coz moments left to say out were few,
When the words were waiting to be slowly uttered,
Got the shock of my life and was totally shattered

August 2009

Kept my hand on my heart and consoled myself all is well,
Though I alone knew that my life's going thru such a hell,
I smiled at you every moment when my mind said you are mine,
Fact was you weren't, but still I said to myself its all fine,

Do I expect to change the past I hold inside,
With all the words I say repeating over in my mind,
Some things you can't erase no matter how hard you try,
An exit to escape is all there is left to find,

We met again to shake our feet together for the dance,
I again went all love struck with your single glance,
Though I was happy about your presence all the while,
I used to curse god for trapping me in this fussy pile,

September 2009

This is when you sought my help to learn and study,
The final moments of my mind when they were steady,
We both leaned over each other and shared our thoughts,
Grievances you had in your mind were lots and lots,

It was your birthday and had no clue what to do,
All that I could do was to write poems in lines of two,
You looked a cute little baby dressed up in the saree,
When you greetd with the pretty smile you looked a fairy,

I got to know you more and better with all truth and facts,
I was asking you to dump them up all in the old rag sacs,
Looks are deceptive and I re-witnessed the fact that day,
Felt a bit speechless and puzzled knowing nothing to say,

October 2009

This is an unforgettable chapter of our lifetime forever,
Moments shared by us will be forgotten by me never and ever,
I understood the real love that you had within your heart,
We got into a blissful relationship never staying apart,

We walked with our problems in silence
Dawn falling into dusk
Leafs collecting at our cold and tired feet
Along with what grieved us

Our conscious asked questions that we longed to hear,
Is the grass really greener on the other side?
Though we knew the answers are that we always fear,
Boldly we stepped out of the box making a stride,

November 2009

Love blossomed in both our hearts and we said it out,
The moment we heard it from each other we had no single doubt,
Wanted to yell out and brag to this whole world about our love,
Our parents said yes to both of us and I still keep wondering how,

We had millions of thoughts to share and ample of time to spend,
Though we had our problems and puzzles we had the hope to mend,
My cute cub never missed an opportunity to cuddle within this bear,
None can get such a sweetheart as their wife upon which I can swear,

Clasped palms never came out of each other through the miles we walked,
Our hearts were so wanting and within each other they were dearly locked,
The whole town knew about we are into each other within this short span,
Everyone hardly could say that we are made for each other with a quick scan,

December 2009

The patch of life where I was low with everything possible facing turn downs,
Being my wife you just ensured you made me feel taken care in all ups and downs,
Life's best moments never go unsaid or unnoticed and not an exception when its us,
Both of us waited, yearned and longed for each other without even a single fuss,

I still do not know why do I love you with all my heart,
One thing is for sure that I felt it from the start,
You will never know that you have given me such pleasure,
This is why I feel that you are my one true treasure,

Whenever you happen to say that you love me for life
I feel it running hard and fast to the depths of my soul
With just one thought in mind referring to yourself as my wife
For the first time in life it helps make me feel me whole

January 2010

The year started with bundles of surprise awaiting my love,
The pretty ring holding your tiny finger with all my love,
The day spent with you is all memorable through all my life,
Makes me feel who else on this planet can be my best wife,

So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start,

For all this while, there had been love riots happening inside my soul,
Witnessing a tug of war to check who loves the other one the most,
Without you being with me for me I never feel myself as whole,
When we both love each other so much we have no choice other than to boast,

February 2010

The memorable valentine's day of my life is on the brink,
Time has fled so fast within the time I had to make a wink,
I feel just now we had met and got to know each other,
Never mind how long it is as if either of us is gonna bother,

Will you be my valentine forever, I wish to ask this to you,
I go on my knees to propose you with all love from my heart,
Will wait and look into your eyes for you to affirm the same,
I can feel that pleasure of yearn when I wait for your love,

What have you done to me and my life, I am just crazy about you,
Though I fight and shout at you, its all the love I have for you,
What else is a better way to express my love, I have to sit n discover,
For now, all I can say is every word and action of mine is soaked in love,

Whatever you think or feel about me please have one thing in mind unerased,
All that happens in our life is just due to the immense love we have for each other,
The day that is not gonna be there, the world won't be there to witness it,
Impossible is such a thing for us to miss out each other,

Though the times we miss each other is not feeling our absence,
Its just that we feel each other's presence too much within us,
The time when we hate and yell at each other is not due to hatred,
Its the moment when we feel the other one is all ours with all love,

Everything is fair in love and war, this is what people say,
I would say everything is beautiful and sweet in our love,
Reason behind that is whatever happens, we bond stronger with each other,
In which nook and corner, can you find such a love, say thats impossible,

Last but not the least, sweetheart, had it been a letter, it would have been soaked,
Soaked with just my tears, amalgamated with happiness and yearning,
Just b with me, holding my hand, walking with me, in our sweet journey,
I am lost outta words, I love you, I will love you, I love you with all of mine. . . .

BE MY VALENTINE . . . PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS . . . :)

- B :)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Why did I choose you !!!



Out from a trillion why did I choose you,
Did not I even come across a pretty few,
The love literally bashed me on my face,
I just fell for you as still my heart says,

The day I saw you I fell deeply and madly in love,
I buried it the very moment I knew t'was impossible,
I carried it all through even I could've told ya,
Day by day it was buried deeper and had hit ma heart,

You used to be so close to me, just a shout away from me,
I use to decide to tell ya the love that I had for you,
Your innocence and affection pulled me back
I just stood so clueless and dumb many a times

I loved you more when I came to know you were not mine,
Since that moment nothing in ma heart was running fine,
I gasped and choked within myself everytime I saw you,
I had too many things in ma head which was so very new,

I saw the friend in you, the love that you showered,
The sweet way you took care of me totally empowered,
I still was in a toggled state of mind knowing nothing to do,
Alas I made up my mind to come and say that I love u too,

This was so not me, being so called romantic and sweet,
Everything has changed in me and ma life all over,
I really don't have a clue about how all these were destined,
Whateva it is, you will always reside in ma heart and mind.

- B :)

Saturday, January 16, 2010

What have you done to me :-)



What have you done to me, I have been asking this so long,
Though I stay clueless I want this puzzle to prolong,
I ain't what I am but I regret a void for how am i now,
Feeling the truth that I've got a sweetheart but how,

A soul that has nothing to think other than me always,
Just her thought makes my heart beat at a faster pace,
When I try to realise that someone can love me so much,
My mind keeps toggling between dream and reality as such,

When I am so close with her, she misses me the most,
The smallest things I do, she never misses to boast,
She wants to hold my hands in every possible journey,
At times she just cuddles within me like a little pony,

She hugs & gets adhered to me like the rain droplet in the soil,
Looks up into my eyes with the cute smile & I run out of words,
Her thoughts always revolve around me like the magnetic coil,
Her sweet talks will be even sweeter than the chirping of birds,

The way she holds my hand and walks down the road like a kid,
I can feel that she will ever be with me in this whole life,
She has always liked even the stupid and crazy things I did,
She is as sweet as she is and will be my ever loving wife . . .

- B :)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Larger than Life



Life is not just a journey that starts from a known date and ends on an unknown date. It’s something more than what we actually dream of. Philosophers have said too many things about how to live your life. Kept aside the conventional philosophies, though sun is the brightest star out in the galaxy, it is of no use once night pops out. Similarly, though philosophers and celebrities give their thoughts, nobody can crave and guide your future in the best way as you can. When you start dreaming for a larger than life, the first thing that comes to your mind is Success. Success is not something that we achieve rather its something that we need to create. Success doesn’t have a benchmark; it’s we who create it. Once you start to focus on what, when, how, where and why do you want, you have sketched your action plan towards success. Think a million times or more before doing something and never ever even bother to regret after doing the same. If critics come up, welcome them with wider arms, remembering just one thing in mind, Well wishers make you live longer, but it’s your critics who will make you live stronger. It’s a general saying that most of the people who had failed to succeed had given up when they are almost about to reach success. I would say the moment was not actually when they gave up rather it was way back when they had any other option in their vision other than success. Failure is not when you do not taste success, rather its when you stop striving for success. All is fair in love and war – this is also a general quote. I would say – all is fair in life. Life is a battle filled with love and emotions. Your goals can be attained in various ways – end of the day – when it comes to success – none cares to ask you how you did it – everyone asks are you successful or not. Bottom line – If you had done your thought process to succeed – think nothing till you have it as yours – everything is fair – let nothing retard or stop you. Even if the whole world tries to stop you – Just say this to yourself “If I can’t then who can” and keep moving. When your journey gets tougher – fate betrays you – every darker phase meets you – every nook and corner filled with failures – rather than yelling at the fate, “WHY ME?” try standing up tall and say “TRY ME”.

(to be contd.)